The Joke’s on Me

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I knew I liked girls when I was in junior high, or even younger. But because I still liked boys, I didn’t know what to think. I didn’t know there was a such a thing as “bisexual,” that I didn’t have to choose one or the other forever and ever.

I finally realized that somewhere in high school, and though I admitted my attraction to women, I very commonly said that I couldn’t see myself dating one.

At 18, as a weird, strategic way out of an argument with my mother, I blurted out “Oh yeah? Well, I’m bisexual!”

Her reaction? “But, I don’t want you to be!!”

She was more worried about my father, who is an ordained Southern Baptist minister (ooooh) and advised me not to tell him unless he just absolutely needed to know.

A year later, I met a girl. We were friends at first, but that turned into a year of on again/off again sex. At some point during that time, my father became aware of what was going on. At the end of that year, we started actually dating.

In less than a month, we’re having our 10-year anniversary. And she loves to remind me that I swore I would never seriously date a woman. The joke is most DEFINITELY on me.

That Thing Called Orientation

I’m not the first, nor will I be the last, to propose that the socially acknowledged terms for sexual orientation leave a lot to be desired. I’m a woman and on the Kinsey scale (which I consider far more user-friendly) I would fall somewhere in the range of a 2. It’s taken me a while to get there and understand what that means for me.

Only in the last few months has the memory surfaced of the first I thought I might like girls. I remember very distinctly standing in the enclosed back porch of my cousin’s house. I was, perhaps, seven or eight and we were taking a brief break before foraging back into the pool. She, six months my junior, had always been a bit of a bully, but I tried to make due with my lone playmate. Being an only child with overprotective parents lent me to very few excursions outside the house, so I knew to enjoy the time I had while I had it.

Somehow it came to me in our conversation that day that I might like girls. I didn’t understand the social ramifications of the information, I hadn’t been given the ‘gays burn in hell’ speech yet, I only knew that, for some reason, I sort of liked girls the same way I liked the freckle-faced boy at school. I shared this information with her and she, giggling and wide-eyed, accepted it with no more issue than had I told her I sneaked an extra cookie before dinner. At least, that’s what I thought.

Later that afternoon I decided to exact my new-found power of using the telephone on my own. We took the cordless phone from its holder in the kitchen and dialed the number of my aforementioned freckle-faced crush. I don’t remember what we talked about (what does one talk about on the phone at that age?), but I remember the absolute shot of panic that ran through me when she snatched the phone and declared, “I’m going to tell him what you told me! I’m going to tell him you like girls!”

I somehow managed to talk her out of it, and I’m not beyond wondering if I actually grabbed the phone out of her hands and hung up on him. I know there was a brief period of begging, of desperation, but she never did say anything and I never spoke of my vague interests again.

I liked boys well enough and, as single digits turned to double and upward, I tended toward boys almost exclusively. In fact, I don’t remember the thought of girls crossing my mind for several years after that. I can only guess I must have severely pushed the information away. During those years I also came to understand that God thought same-sex intimacy was abhorrent, and that those engaging in sexual immorality would be permanently cast out. Between you and me, looking back now, I think Paul was just bitter he wasn’t getting any.

In the mid-late years of puberty I came to the realization that the idea of sex with a woman was not only interesting to me, but desirable in the right circumstances. I realized I was watching women more than men when I was out in public. I didn’t know what to make of it, I was a little afraid of it. I remember driving home, on the interstate south of Richmond with my mother, and telling her that I thought I might like girls too. I came out and said, “I think I might be bisexual. I sort of..like…girls?”

She gave me an odd sort of look from the driver’s seat and laughed, “No you don’t! You wouldn’t want to kiss a woman, would you? Gross!” This, followed by another sort of finial laugh was enough shut me up entirely.

Since then, I’ve shared the information with only two people: my best friend (who doesn’t care, particularly given I’ve never been attracted to her), and my male partner. He is a solid 3 now, perhaps a leaning 4 on the Kinsey scale. He had predominantly (nearly exclusively) male partners before we found each other and, for some reason, we fell in love. We work well together, we have a great sex life, and when I told him about my interest in women he laughed and said, “Fantastic. Now we can really look at people together.”

I don’t know if I’ll ever have sex with a woman. If our relationship continues as we both foresee it doing (that is, marriage and children), I have no interest of bringing other partners into the picture. It may be that I quietly admire from the sidelines and enact fantasies on my own or with him when the mood strikes.

I know this for sure, though: whatever gender preferences or interests our children have, we will never, ever, laugh at them.

A Mother’s Day Gift

Having said good bye to all my friends as Sex 2.0,  I headed to my car for the long drive north. It was Mother’s Day weekend and I wanted to be home with my children when they woke up that next morning as I have always been these past years. I would have hours on that drive home to think and process all I had learned that day at Sex 2.0 and all of the people I had met.

By the time I arrived home it was late and I was totally worn out. I found my son still awake and in the kitchen as I walked in, so we spent time chatting and catching up on his weekend. Lugging my stuff into my bedroom I reflected on how different my life was now than just a short year ago. So many things had changed for me and one of them was the way I viewed my relationship with my children. I was now the mom who handed her son the NYC condoms and lectured him on the importance of safe sex.

It was the sound of my phone ringing a few hours later that woke me up. Upon answering it I heard those dreaded words “Mom, you need to come outside.”

“What? I’m sleeping” I replied. I told him I would talk to him tomorrow.

But the next reply scared me even more. “Mom, you HAVE to come out here.”

Out of bed I climbed and made my way outside to find my two sons sitting together. Confusion started to set in. They were both alive, sober (or semi-sober) and I didn’t see the police anywhere around.

As I sat down the older one looked at me and said “Eric has something he needs to tell you.” If you are a parent you know how these are the last words you ever want to hear, especially in the middle of the night from one of your children.

I turned to Eric and encouraged him to talk to me. Looking me in the eye he said “Mom, I’m bisexual.”

Huh? Is that all, I thought to myself. Then I looked at this child of mine. This child who has been struggling to come to terms with his sexuality. I thought back on the past year or so of his life and the signs of his struggle and unhappiness. I looked at this child who was now opening up to me finally and looking for my acceptance.

It was then I thought of all the people I now have in my life. I thought of the ones who have struggled for acceptance from their families and at that moment I could not for the life of me understand how their parents could not accept both them and their lives.

I looked at my son with happiness and love and said “I will love you no matter what,” and “I don’t care if you like boys, girls or pineapples; it will never change who you are,” and “These are your life choices and I will support you in them no matter what,” and “All I want for you is happiness and a clean room.”

As I sat with my two children in the late night cool air talking about all of this I thought to myself if only they knew where I had just spent my weekend. See, my children are still not fully aware of the life I lead now but that night they fully benefited from it. We talked about being bisexual and the thoughts people have about it. The old question of whether men are really bisexual or just one step away from gay.

None of this conversation surprised me. Thinking back I always “knew” this about him. When the conversation turned to telling his Dad it was no surprise to me when he said he would not tell him and did not want me to either. Growing up with a conservative Republican Dad has made if difficult for him to be himself around him.

As the night air grew cooler I bugged my two sons to move inside to finish our talk. It was now very late, cold and I was exhausted. As we all curled up on the sofas together, the conversation moved to the condoms I had given them. One son complained that they were too small. At that point as I tried to stay awake the conversation moved between my two sons and why one could fit into these condoms and one could not. I started to hear numbers with the word “inches” after it and wondered how did I end up in the middle of this.

How did I end up late at night with my two children cuddled on the sofa while they discussed the size of their respective manhoods? Who was I now? And then it came to me. I was a mom and I was Diva. I had learned so much in the last year and I was now sharing that with my children. This new person I had become with all the knowledge and understanding that they needed at this point in their lives.

I looked at them and thought back to all the years we had these moments together alone. I thought about the difficult changes they were going through in this family now and how much I had worried about them because of it. And then I saw our future together. A future of us together late at night discussing sexuality, condoms and penis size along with their need to clean their rooms. Happiness surrounded me at that moment with the love I had for my children.

I turned to my son who had chosen that night to come out to me and said with humor in my voice, “You know some children give their mothers flowers for Mother’s Day,”  thinking about how ironic it was that Diva’s son would come out on Mother’s Day.

My children have benefited from my online life and friendships.  The next day I was able to share this with my friends and look to them for help.  I asked them for books, resources and support groups for my son as he worked through accepting this about himself.

Mother’s Day has become even more special for me now.