I Can’t Get No Contraception – Part 2

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As mentioned previously, we didn’t use condoms to start with. They were a little tricky to obtain, or maybe that was just what I was telling myself as an excuse. If I am honest with myself, the action of going out of my way to buy them constituted ‘intent’ and that seemed to me to be worse than telling myself that sex ‘just happened’ on the spur of the moment, hung-up and guilt-ridden as I still was.

So it was without protection that I took my first ventures into her luscious fragrant hole. Dipping into it, luxuriating there for just a few seconds of bliss before pulling out and finishing myself off over her full breasts became the routine. It was only when her period first came round I was able to enjoy full-on penetrative sex with her, and it was like an epiphany. I wanted more of this and with time I began to take more and more risks; pulling out later and later, coming inside her for more days of her period. I looked forward to her periods, not knowing the discomfort they were causing her. I became an expert in that game called ”Hunt the little blue string”.

And then, one month… She was late. She was never late, never had been, or so she told me. You could set a clock by her monthly cycle. But she was late nonetheless.

Just late enough to make us both reflect on the upheaval that a pregnancy would cause for both of us just then. It turned out that the arrival of Auntie Flo had just been delayed by a few days by a bout of ’flu. We breathed a collective sigh of relief and carried on, more carefully than before. I started to experiment with another crude form of contraception: Anal sex.

I had discovered early on that a little finger, drenched in her generous juices, was a most welcome occasional visitor in her arse. I had sometimes bitten my fingernails right down so as to be allowed to probe her further. The shackles of my upbringing were already being cast aside one by one. I was convinced I was going to hell anyway so what was another sin to add to the list?

Heather was no stranger to anal. She had tried it back home as a teenager. Fortunately, her first experience was at the hands of someone who knew what he was doing.  He had been gentle with her and she had not been scared off for good. As a consequence I didn’t have to persuade her to let me try; it was something we explored together. I shall always be grateful to that unnamed person.

For the rest of the university year we slept together pretty much every night, sharing a narrow bed, barely wide enough for one, sharing coursework assignments, sharing wet Saturday afternoons, sharing the thrill of mutual masturbation, the illicit joy of anal and, once a month, the treat of full-on penetrative sex.

The next academic year would would see us setting up home together in North London, with the freedom which that would bring, not least the freedom which comes with ’proper’ contraception.

(To be continued)

Author’s disclaimer. This was 1977: Clearly, unprotected anal sex is a bloody silly thing to do unless you are able to trust your partner absolutely, and is in no way recommended as a means of contraception!

I Can’t Get No….Contraception

(With apologies to The Rolling Stones)

That first night I spent with Heather, the first of ten thousand or more, made me realise that I never wanted to spend a night alone again. That warmth and closeness, the feel and smell of another human being right there next to me all night long until I woke to find her still there the next day was something I had never before experienced in my 20 years.

The sex came later. I had slept with my underpants on that first night. I’m not quite sure why. I was certainly shy, repressed, inexperienced and unsure of myself. My church upbringing had warned me of the dire consequences of just this type of thing and not taking all my clothes off was maybe symbolic of not going all the way.

Heather could have taken matters into her own hands, dragged them off me and taught me all I needed to know there and then: She certainly had the experience which I lacked. She could have laughed in my face or taken offence at me not grabbing with both hands the golden opportunity she was presenting so freely to me. She did none of those things. She was gentle and patient and she didn’t rush things. She slept in her knickers as well that night. We kissed and cuddled, she let me explore her, let me feel what it was like to be explored and we masturbated each other.

We spent long rainy Saturday afternoons, that autumn of 1977, slowly discovering more and more about each other. Because my background had made me somewhat reticent and because contraception was something of a problem, actual vaginal penetrative sex was only a small part of our relationship, so we explored a whole range of other experiences besides. Things that many other couples perhaps only arrive at much further into a relationship but which for us have been an integral part of our love play right from the very start. Like fisting, for example. Like anal. Not so much oral, strangely. Whereas I quickly discovered the delights of tasting her moist, fragrant cunt, I hope Heather will forgive me if I say that giving oral was not her favourite activity back then.

Heather wasn’t on the pill at the time. She explained that she didn’t dare while she was living at home because she knew that however well she hid them her mother would be sure to find them and that would inevitably lead to a huge row. Yet another huge row. How she managed to avoid getting pregnant before she came to England is something of a mystery. In any case, she hadn’t left her home town to become embroiled in a relationship. Quite the reverse. The previous couple of years had seen her school grades slide in inverse proportion to her interest in the local boys and she didn’t want that to happen while at university.

Condoms were available of course, although not as widely as they are now. These were the days pre-HIV, and when chlamydia was something we learned about in Pathology classes but were never likely to encounter, so ’safe sex’ as we now know it simply wasn’t an issue. Our hall of residence was right in the heart of the City of London, so there were no convenient pubs or shops nearby. There was a Durex machine in the toilets at the hall, built like a tank and covered in hilarious graffiti such as ”Buy me and stop one”, ”This chewing gum tastes funny” and, beneath the logo declaring the contents to conform to British Standard 3704, the inscription: ”So was the Titanic”. Problem was that the thing was so noisy that you could hear the drawer being yanked out and slammed shut way down the corridor. It was the thought of being discovered in the act by a fellow member of The Christian Union that kept me well away from that machine…

(To be continued)

–Submitted by Fat Controller of Northern Lights and Sleepless Nights

They’d Never Believe Me Anyway

I don’t know if it’s this way at your house, but with two pre-teen girls, dinner table discussions at our house more frequently than not involve reproductive organs, sexuality and (these days) marriage equality discussions.

Take for example, this interaction between myself and my eleven year old:

A: Me and Friend X and Friend Y were wondering about how lesbians have sex.

Me: Do you mean since neither person has a penis?

A: Yeah.

Me: Well, there are lots of ways to be intimate that don’t involve a penis. They could use their hands and fingers. They could use their mouths…

A: You mean they kiss?

Me: Well, that and they use their mouths on one another’s vagina or breasts and other parts of the body that feel good when they’re touched.

A: Oh…(takes a few minutes to ponder).  How about gay men?

Me: Well, the same thing.  They can use their hands and mouths and anus.

A: What’s an anus?

Me: Their butts.

A: Oh.  (Another quiet moment.)

Me (imagining the phone calls I would get the next day):  You know how we’ve talked about that parents usually like to be the ones to teach their children about sex? This is probably one of those things that you should tell Friend X and Friend Y to talk to their parents about rather than explaining it yourself.

A: Yeah, good idea. They would never believe me anyway.

–Submitted by D.