When we were kids, our parents used medical terminology about our bodies. I don’t remember whether it was always that way: I remember when I was very young, about four, watching a TV programme with nobody else around and then proudly bursting into the room declaring that I had learned the “proper” names for genitalia. Whether that memory reflects reality or not, I don’t know.
One day, when I was six– I can place it quite well, because I remember the classroom– I was allowed to choose what reading books I was reading. And I picked out a book called The Body Book, which at the time looked quite fascinating. I remember my teacher wrinkling up her nose in thought as to whether I should be allowed to take a book with naked people on the cover home, and my mother telling her it was all right.
Anyway, so I devoured this book. It had a lot of information in it about such interesting things as emotions and death, but then I got to the page about sex. In case you didn’t bother to look, it explains that boys and girls have “baby-making bits”. A boy’s “baby-making bits” are named as “a penis”. However, not only is the vagina the only part of a woman’s equipment whose existence is acknowledged, but the book even affirms that its name is “a baby-making hole”. Being a knowledge-thirsty kind of kid, I soaked up this information and forgot that I had previously been aware of any other words.
Now, a few months later, it happened that we were doing some Disney songs in the school choir, including the song Twitterpated from Bambi. When we were waiting by the front door getting ready to go to school one morning, my brother (a year younger than me) got bored and decided to pass the time by parodying the song. He sang:
Things begin to happen when a boy meets girl,
The boy puts his penis in the girl’s vulva.
(Somehow he managed to get the second line into the metre. I don’t think we learned about scansion at school.)
Anyway, I turned on him and said, “He doesn’t! He doesn’t!”
My mother fixed a steely eye upon me. “Really, Thomas?” she said. “And what does he do?”
“He puts his penis in the girl’s *baby-making hole*,” I said proudly.
To her credit, my mother kept a straight face.
–Submitted by Thomas
This is what too many people fail to understand about adolescent girls when it comes to sex, rape and personal agency: The experience of being alive in their bodies makes them sometimes sexual, sometimes curious, sometimes desirous, sometimes totally innocent — and at all times vulnerable to other people’s interpretations of their behavior, of their decisions, of their very existence in bodies equipped with brand-new womanly features. And all they have to counter those interpretations are their own voices — voices that are routinely ignored, dismissed and silenced. What does a kid that age know, after all? At least until an older man says, she knew damn well what she was doing.Five minutes after we ended the interview, Kampmeier called me back to say she wanted to add one more thought: “When you rape a girl, the problem is not that you’re taking away her purity — which is what gets the religious right up in arms — it’s that you’re taking away her wholeness. And trying to keep her ‘pure,’ repressing her sexuality, silencing her voice, also takes away wholeness. It’s two sides of the same coin.”I don’t want my daughter to grow up pure,” she said. “I want her to grow up whole.”
via Polanski, “Hounddog” and 13-year-old voices – Broadsheet – Salon.com.
“Abstinence education works,” Hatch said in a statement LifeNews.com received. “My amendment restores a vital funding stream so that teens and parents have the option to participate in programs that have demonstrated success in reducing teen sexual activity and, consequently, teen pregnancies.”
“I laud the Senate Finance Committee for its strong bipartisan vote to ensure valuable programs such as these continue to help teach our children about healthy lifestyle choices,” he added.”The absence of an abstinence only education program has negative health consequences for our nation’s most vulnerable citizens,” he explained.
“Teenage pregnancy is a leading contributor to poverty, which in turn leads to poor health outcomes for mothers and children; sexually active teens are more likely to experience mental health issues such as depression or attempted suicide; and sexually active teens are more likely to suffer health consequences such as increased rates of infection with sexually transmitted diseases.”
via Senate Finance Committee Reinstates $50 Million in Abstinence Education Funding.
As the new school year heats up, so does the public debate about sex education. What do we teach teenagers about sex, and what do we leave them to figure out on their own? If we can agree that few teens learn about sexuality in an accurate, age-appropriate, and comprehensive way, then where does that leave adults who came through the same school systems they did? Many of us are still full of questions that we aren’t quite sure how to articulate. Few can claim that they’ve figured sex — and its social influence — out.If you want to graduate to the next level of sexual health, pleasure, and social awareness, now’s your chance. Get yourself schooled with a crash course in sex ed for adults. From orgasms to organs, from contraceptives to court decisions, look to the reading list below for the can’t-miss books and articles about sex.
via 40 Books About Sexuality That You Have to Read | | AlterNet.
It is better for them to learn the A-Z of sex rather than wait for porn or their friends to teach them what they are missing. Now if they miss out on the birth control bit, STD bits how they will ever exercise caution. I believe that the more they know about it the more responsible they will be before they make any decision. Sexual Education is not going to push a child towards sex. Teens are naturally curious about sex anyway in any shape or form. They will go for it regardless of the fact that they receive a sexual education or not. Would it not be better for them to learn about it before they go on to take that step?
via Sex Ed Controversy « Lawanai Sparashawe Translation: Lost my marbles big time.
I grew up in a reasonably liberal Orthodox Christian home, and I am Orthodox to this day. I don’t know if it has to do with my parents’ conservatism, or with their feelings concerning my choices and my right to choices, or even if they simply decided that because we were getting sex ed in school, it was unneeded at home, but somehow, they made the decision to refrain from having The Talk with me. To this day, I am profoundly grateful for that choice, as odd as it sounds – I don’t think I could face having that particular chat with my shy, quiet mother, or worse still, my traditional Greek dad. The thought is painful to contemplate! But I still had access to complete, accurate information (we had sex ed in school in grades five, seven, and nine, and I read most of the books in the public library on the subject).
It was never discussed in Sunday school, either (I suppose they assumed that our parents were talking to us about it), but I knew that devout Orthodox Christians were supposed to wait until marriage to have sex. It’s a choice that I question almost every day (with my boyfriend, you would too, believe me), but one that I know in the end is appropriate for me, at least for now. It is not a choice I wish to impose on anyone else, but I do wish that others would respect my right to that choice. Being as liberal as I am in most other aspects of my life, my friends are always stunned when they hear that I’m a virgin, and they immediately question my choice: have I not met the right guy, am I scared, is it a self-esteem issue, am I just not on birth control yet…?
I feel that this is an aspect of sexual education that is often neglected: it is absolutely crucial that every young adult receive accurate information about sex, contraception, STIs, pregnancy, abortions, and all the rest, but it is just as important that we make it clear that choosing to not be sexually active is equally valid, and not a sign of prudishness, close-mindedness, or conservatism. It’s just a different choice. I don’t question your choice; why do you question mine?
In my case, it’s a choice I made out of respect for my own body and out of respect for the person I eventually choose to marry. I’m still young enough to be a romantic at heart: I want my future husband to know that I loved him before I knew him, enough to save at least that for him and for us. I don’t know why others make the choices they do, whatever choices they make, but I respect them regardless. As expressions of sexuality become more openly accepted (and it’s high time they were!), the choice to refrain from such expressions needs to be equally accepted.
I plan to talk to my children about the importance of good, healthy, and safe choices, and about what those choices are, but I want to make sure that they understand that all the choices are equally valid. I can only hope that others will do the same.
–anonymous
However, of most concern is the document’s systematic promotion of masturbation to children beginning at age five. In fact, Floyd Godfrey, LPC, whose specialty is treating youth with sexual addictions stated: “After working with hundreds of clients with sexual compulsions, I have seen masturbation as the most common symptom of sexual addiction. It is also the most common compulsive behavior for teenagers who later develop addictions. Instructing young children in sexual behavior is abusive. Although some young children encounter masturbation as they grow up, this does not give adults license to teach them how to perform sexual acts. It is inappropriate and against the law to teach young children sexual behavior.”
via Stop the UN from sexualising children.
“Active consent is about re-framing discussions on sexual consent from strictly ‘no means no’ to a model which states that anything less than active participation is not consensual,” said Rachel Tomlinson Dick, director of the Women’s Resource Center. “It’s about moving the conversation to ‘yes means yes.’”
via Safer Sex Cabaret spices up sex ed for UNO students
The state’s and the UN’s focus — as well as the world’s general acceptance of the UN’s draft — on the sexuality of such young children is very disconcerting. Whether they are 5-year-olds or tweens, they should not be told what sex is and how to have it. That’s much too young of an age to indoctrinate them on every nuance of sexuality, even in this era of declining values. They do not possess the maturity, morality or sense to process the information given to them. They’re kids! By showing them the ins and outs of sex, their young, inquisitive minds will no doubt be more apt to experiment at that young age, further driving down the average age at which people have their first sexual experience 15 years of age.
via Tonawanda News – CONFER: Sex ed’s youth movement.
Nigerians need to let go of that moral crap, sex is not bad; So why do Nigerians demonize it?
Your mother cannot even give you proper sex education as a yound adolescent, rather she says ‘ if you go close to a boy or if a boy should touch you , you’ll get pregnant’ .
BULLCRAP!!!!! Hey wonderful mother, why don’t you say ‘ my girl, if you have sex without protection with a young man you will get pregnant’ .
Isn’t that real and honest compared to making your child believe she’s some reincarnation of Virgin Mary that will concieve by some holy apparition.
Why don’t you tell your child, because believe me , she already knows the whole 9 yards, I dare say at age 12 she knows half of what you knew at age 23.
via Ttlolla’s Mind: Lets Talk Sex.
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