I can’t shake the idea that my mom was more experienced and more knowledgeable than she let on. I only wish she’d shared with me more of what she knew and what she experienced before she died.
My most vivid memory of any kind of sex talk with my mom was when I was 26. I had graduated college and was moving across the country for a new start. She’d come to visit me and to help me pack my apartment before I left for a state 2000 miles away.
I had already sold my bed and was sleeping on an air mattress. I remember going to the store to buy more boxes and returning to find my mom organizing the kitchen.
She turned to me and said: “I started to work in your bedroom for you. I got the dresser done, but I didn’t want to touch your bed. I thought I’d let you pack your vibrator by yourself.”
Blushing and embarrassed I ran into my bedroom and realized that my mom had seen the air pump socket on the side of my air mattress and thought it was a plug-in vibrator.
I was embarrassed at the time, and it has it’s humorous side, but truthfully I wish now that my mom had taken the opportunity to talk more about sex with me and to talk to me about the experiences that were/might be in my future.
Even more, as I enter my 40s, I wish that she were around so I could ask her more about what I could expect as I get older. My life is very different from hers – at my age she had two children and I am divorced and childless – but I think I still could learn a lot from her.
I guess if I had anything to say to moms of adult women is this: don’t shy away from talking about sex with your daughters. I’d have love to have known what my mom’s experiences were and what advice she’d have given to me now if she were here. Even though she’s been gone ten years now, I know that every day I could benefit from her advice and her point of view.
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