My father’s side of the family is Finish. My father, though born in North America, was raised in a tightly knit and traditional Finnish community. The language and culture are his first language and culture. This, among other things, means we have a sauna at my cottage and I have been going in the sauna since before I was born (my mother spent a couple months of both her pregnancies with me and my brother soaking in the warmth). This also means I have been going into saunas the traditional way for as long as I can remember– naked. And I’ve never thought there was anything weird about it.
When it comes to the sauna, the Finnish people do not have the western sense of body shyness or shame. I have sat as naked at the day I was born with family, friends and even completely strangers (though always friends of the family) of all ages and sexes, and never felt uncomfortable. The sauna is not a sexual thing. It is a social, relaxing and cleansing custom.
So, there has never been a time when I have not known exactly what the human body looks like and the differences between men and women. I have always known the proper anatomical names for things and was never shy to use words like breasts, penis, scrotum, vulva or vagina. I grew up without a sense of shame about my body or anyone else’s.
Sadly, some of that has changed. Like most North American women, I have fallen victim to our culture of negative body-image. I feel I am fat and worry about what I look like. I wish I could return to my more innocent days when I took the whole spectrum of human body shape for granted.
As a child, I learned quickly that this was not the norm and that what my family did shocked most other people. I learned to just not talk about it so as not to make other people feel uncomfortable. Though I never apologized for it.
The sauna was just one significant element of an overall open and sex positive childhood that has allowed me to at least become comfortable with my sexuality if not the size of my tummy and thighs.
–Submitted by A.
I am an American. I moved to Finland when I was 13 years old, and joined the local swim team. After every practice, it was custom to go to sauna, and on the door of every public sauna is a sign – a swimsuit with a red circle and diagonal line over it- no swimsuits allowed. I was mortified at first. In time, I learned to appreciate the heat and cleansing nature social and otherwise of this practice.. We should start a sauna revolution here! I love the smell of the hot wood and steam.. I haven’t been in a sauna for year, but look back fondly on the interaction it provided. I totally hear where you are coming from, just having given birth, I am covered in a root system of stretch marks, sagging in places I never though possible, and finding myself feeling so alienated from my pristined bodied comtemperaries, except, maybe, if we saunaed together, we would see all of our imperfections, and learn to love them.. Good luck in your journey!